MULLAPERIYAR WATER(aka BLOOD) THEME PARK

Kerala to get a new water theme park soon!! Yes...the idiots told you first!

All thanks to Tamil Nadu’s selfless support for this ‘project’. Pity on all the keralites and others who are crying for new dam.... damn...so ‘anti-development’ kinds!!

Mullaperiyar is the oldest gravity dam built on 1896 and is still running even after its expiry date of 50 years... It is on the verge of an explosion! And that very explosion will help Kerala get its biggest, infact world’s biggest water theme park ever!! Isn’t that “WOW”? Why worry about lakhs of life, just think about the adventure... don’t give a DAMn about IIT research... but just one doubt- will we be alive to be happy about the park!!?? Ahh... never mind, at least Tamilians can definitely enjoy it!!

We idiots wonder how the dam survived till now.... but the answer is with Tamilians and of course, we found it out. It is RAJINIKANTH! Reports say he is holding the dam and it is too strong to break. Awww...the hero! we guess, Rajini will crave for some rest!!

Appreciate central government’s ignorance towards this issue... just keep your eyes closed and let the Keralites die! Nice na....... the only trouble is that the water park will smell of BLOOD... blood of more than 30 lakh innocent people!! But does that really matter? Huh TN, central govt?? Nay......How about naming it BLOOD theme park ???? What say???? :-P

Why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri DAM?? (okay okay...there is no relevance of this here, but we love the song!! ;-))

TIHAR... watch out for the 3G's

2G..... 2G.... aren’t you all really sick hearing it all over the news all the time? Hmmm, by the way, we know what you are thinking, but no, we are not bored hearing about it!! Voila!! ;-)

Now that all of you are bored of 2g and most of you prefer reading KRK tweets rather than reading the newspaper headlines, we have come up with hot news. Heard from sources that some intelligent people are planning a new scam.  As this is the age of 3g, they have decided to name it the 3g SCAM. Well this is a highly confidential news but we are ready to share the big secret with our readers that the master brains behind this scam are none other than THE CREATIVE IDIOTS.. That’s usJ. Now you know why we are not bored.. 2G is our inspiration, hearing it all the time is an encouragement. We have a full proof (read fool proof) plan for the same. No Swamy will be able to do anything about it. buhahaha..

Our 3g scam is going to be bigger than the 2g scam for sure!!

We are going to bring out a scandal which is 100 times bigger in cash than the previous one. Yes, even Lord SreePadmanabha Swamy wouldn’t come our way :O  With 1/4^th of the money, we are going to renovate Tihar, so as to ensure our comfortable stay in future (only if Swamy interrupts, you know risks should be avoided). Okay, basically we are going to do this all alone without involving any ministers, journalists, or any entrepreneurs ......just the two of us! But PC, the HM, the goggle man- Karunanidhi’s daughter, Raja (band baaja) etc, has already contacted us to request to join them too.  But they just don’t include in our plan. And apart from PC no one else can actually stand the storm called SWAMY. We just might be into him. We will let you guys know soon.

As for bureaucrats, we definitely need someone like RK Chandolia. This guy was the private secretary of Raja during UPA-1 when the licenses were awarded and during UPA-2 he was given the rank of joint secretary but later became the Economic advisor due to Raja (truly a king who loves his praja)

We will behave like Maharajas...

We have decided not to involve people at the top of TRAI, because we strongly suspect the daily SMS limitation to 100 was TRAI’s revenge for accusing their ex-head Pradip Baijal. Our sources tell us that the judiciary may give him a clean chit. The reason behind this is nothing but the complaints lodged by millions of cell phone users across the country. See...see.... the power of democracy and moreover the SMS.

 The main aim behind this 3g scam is to endorse our own channel. How can we forget what Kanimozhi did for her channel? She is really not that bad. She did everything for the Tamil audience who watch all their soaps and Rajnikanth-Vijaykanth movies they show. And it’s a pity that she has been put in the jail just for social service. So not fair.

We would be careful and won’t repeat Radia tapes. Rather we would use pigeons to convey our messages. And just like Bakhra oops Barkha Dutt (too many typos) who loves to stick her tongue out and hit her bashers with many arms just like Devi (ref: twitter), we hope to get least publicity in this case. We are planning to take a PhD in manipulation from her and have good relation with 10janpath. Also train in mass blocking and abusing her followers. Well SRN got blocked by her just when she mentioned radia tapes...arrey she didn’t understand that SRN was just trying to take some tips from her...aww poor girl. SSN too tried to repeat the same, but Deviji thought ‘twas SRN’s fake account and blocked her too. Sigh ;-( well she also said SRN has no upbringing!! Yeah we crave for the upbringing B.Dutt had.. calling a woman ‘tramp’, marrying two men, getting involved in scams.... alas!! Well she thinks she is really great coz her followers count is increasing day by day.... but some people say they are following just to get daily dose of her STUPIDITY.. don’t worry Barkha ji, we don’t think so.. there is something more in you than just stupidity (‘DEVIl’ism, maybe? Note- not to be read the way, it seems)

Even if we get caught, we wonder, who will write a 4 page note on our scam to the PMO and later say that they are not my personal opinion like Pranab!! And we will respond to it with a huge grin of satisfaction saying the MATTER IS CLOSED in pure PC style. But mind it rascala.... our matter is never going to open at all. But what we fear the most is the interruption of Italian Madam, her puppet and her clan. We can’t do anything, but give their share if they demand it. We are sooooo weak comparing them L while typing this, our legs were shaking, hmmmm. So guys pray for us, pleaseeeeeee.....

Better befriend us now as later on, we will be really busy... we are going to be “THE SCAMSTARS”

*Barkha laugh...sorry EVIL laugh*

btech diaries-2

*The best part of the college was Padayappa (not Rajnikanth) and Aslam bhai....well yeah they are not ‘part’, but two dashing seniors of the college. Every student in our college would be having one or the other stories about them to tell, we too have some wonderful stories in our kit. They were the final years when we were the first years.
They were the real patriotic fellows....made us sing our national anthem- ‘Jana Gana Mana’ in numerous occasions including while we were walking through the corridor!!
Once they caught us on the way. The Pada, who is not the Rajnikanth, gave Nambiar one auto driver’s number to go home.

The intelligent and poor Nambu went up to gate and dialled the number despite having doubt and an another number...because she respects and trusts her senior (no fear!!)!! Nair was with them, they didn’t release her from their custody. Here goes the conversation between the driver and her (i.e SRN. It is a really time consuming task to type Nambu/Nambiar all the time...for Nair, we will use SSN).


Driver: “hello”
SRN: “eh...Would you come to Engineering college gate?”
Driver: okay ma’am...where do you want to go?”
SRN: “home”
Driver: “eh...home? ...where is it?”
SRN: “oh! Sorry...its XXXX” (not going to tell you the place :-P)
Driver: “okay.... are you in first year?”
SRN: *thinks in mind “dude, why are you asking me that!?”* “yeah....umm I am...”
Driver: “just confirmed ‘coz you students fool us a lot...btw where did you get my number from?”
SRN: *thinking- “too many questions...hmm....and I AM DIFFERENT from those students!!”* “okay, number....got it from one of the senior... Pada... Padayappa...oops... XXXXXX (his real name...)”

She heard a laughter bursting out in background from the phone..... perplexed, she just turned back to the seniors only to realise that she has been getting fooled by them and the driver was no one other than Pada :O and moreover, the conversation was open...it was on loudspeaker...many seniors heard it and also SSN.. She did feel pity, but couldn’t control her laughter!! Grrrrrrr

Btech Diaries-1.

Aum Vishvesharaya namah!!! 
Vishvesharaya was one of the prominent engineers in the nation. His birthday September 15th is celebrated as ‘Engineer’s Day’. Now thank us for providing this info...we bet many of you didn’t know about it ;-P................. we need his blessings
So let’s get to the topic...
What exactly we want to write in this post is about all the sane (you know what to read...hehe), creative things we did in college, hostel and well outside. So let’s get started (again cliché!!!)
Our first class was on September 17th, 2008. Each and every one of us (especially hostellers) were wearing one of those dull face and some fellow people like us (Nambiar and Nair) were extremely unhappy with the uniform system of our college because we dreamt of going to college in our favourite jeans and Tees.. But all went in vain. Alas!

*first year, first class- it was quite shocking when our humanities professor asked Shreya ‘the tone deaf’ Nair to sing a song...which she politely refused (see how caring she is.. she didn’t want to massacre the whole new class who were looking at her with puppy eyes.. ‘most of them looked like cretins to me’ she recollects :D) okay... forgive him, ‘to err is human’. But the biggest blunder of the day was when he requested Shreya ‘not the Ghoshal’ Nambiar to sing few lines.. but actually the worst part was when she agreed (“ewww...what was she thinking!?”- Nair) and the Nambiar sang ‘aapki nazron ne samja’ with jumbled lyrics... Guess she was trying to test her Sir and classmates on their rearranging skills!!

And the tragedy was that one of the girls in class liked it..... but that didn’t last long, as the girl asked her to sing her favourite song later on, which well...you know...ummm...the girl was hospitalised for a day, reason- trauma!!!


*okay...enough of sa re ga ma pa....we are engineering students, so let’s talk about Amul baby....oops sorry btech (habit you know :-P)
The deadliest subject in first year was ENGINEERING GRAPHICS. We, idiots could never imagine any prism, the top, front and side view of objects and put it to the big stubborn sheets, say we were the ‘Darsheel Safari’s(the dyslexic kid of Taare zameen par) of graphics. We had this really handsome sir...both of us were dumbstruck, ‘coz none of our batch mates were as good as him... Nair used to have Goosebumps all the time he is around. She couldn’t even talk to him properly, she was short of words.

Love was in the air of graphics hall, but it never passed by his side.....sigh!! Well then she was forced to forget him, when he left the college for some other job (maybe where there are no Nairs ;-))

Mini Drafter- the machine gun look alike “tool” or “weapon” we use to set the bloody sheet in place and to draw some crappy stuff. We shot many people from the bus on the way back hostel using the same! One senior claimed to have seriously injured with the shot, and remember Nair apologising to him “sorry...did it hurt much? Are you fine?” seriously!!!! It took her few minutes to actually realise that it was drafter she shot him with!!! Height of idiocy!!


*Well juniors...especially during their first years , fumble when they see the seniors. Another example of the above said height of idiocy was shown by Nambiar.

At the office, Nambiar along with few other friends saw some girls. Keen to know whether they were first years Nambiar went up to them and asked “hey ..!! Are you first years??” Furious reply came from their side (Final year students they were..:D) asking her to apologize and ask them with respect. Poor Nambiar asked them with utmost sincerity “Chechi chechi... Are you first years???” (P.S. chechi means didi in Hindi) Well you can guess what happened next. From then on ...She swore not to be seen around them again.
*****To be continued*****

A new addition- Btech Diaries!!!! (Brushing up our insane side)

Hola Peeps!! What’s up? We hope the readers are happy as we have been posting stuffs weekly... all thanks to upcoming university exam... The study leave gives us a lot of time and ideas to write on!! Though we wrote an open letter, it didn’t circle around much like that of Madrasan’s hmmmm... aahhh...no worries, we will still keep on writing!!! :-/
On engineer’s day i.e. September 15th, when we saw many tweeple sharing their blog on engineering....we felt really bad that we didn’t write one....better late than never, we decided to start posts on our btech days, named ‘Btech Diaries’!!!((mind you, it is no princess diaries). Planned of including some serious (you know how far we can go, don’t you? ;-D) stuffs we did during our three years of college life. We are not gonna leave behind our usual posts, just that at times we would be posting things under ‘Btech Diaries or BD’ (depends on our mood) to avoid confusion. Okay?

So the next post would go by the title “Btech Diaries-1” or ”BD-1” or whatever....and other posts regarding politics, drama, and of course, Amul baby and Rajumon ‘s leg pulling(two things, we idiots can’t live without...smells cliché, huh? Deal with it!!! :-P) will continue in between....
So....let’s get started!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE FINAL OPEN LETTER!!!!

Dear readers....
Since this is the season of open letters from madrasans to delhi boys and vice versa.. We too thought of coming up with one .. But not for any state, religion or community. This one is strictly for INDIANS.
we don't really understand what is all this fuss about "aiyyo, oye..sambhar, rajma..chor and chaawal..Kapoor, Iyer..bunty, Krishnan..." Big deal!!
India is a very large country with 28 states and 7 union territories, infinite cultures and traditions .. JIN STATES KE NAAM NA SUNAI DETE HAIN NA DHIKHAI DETHE HAIN.. SUNAI DETA HAI TOH SIRF EK NAAM... INDIA (courtesy : Chak de! India) But aint that true???
We, the authors of the blog, are pakka southies.. We are from GOD'S OWN COUNTRY- - KERALA. We totally love our state .. and we are proud to be MALLUS ( not madrasis). It feels bad when Northies call us madrasis..U have no idea how irritating it is when they make fun of our accent .. Our Yinglish.. But.. well we do remember mocking our Gupta sir (a northie) who had wierd northie accent. Chill guys!!!!!!! Yeh sab toh chalta hi rahega.. Ab we all know how our eastern counterparts feel when we call them CHINKIS.. This is happening all around the country.. Lets face it with a smile.. Coz as you can see no one is perfect....
Uuggghhhh!!!!! This is gettin way too serious... We cant take it any more... We are just not used to these kinda serious stuff..
But this time we were left with no choice.
So guys let us put this straight.This is 21st century .. Not 60s or 70s that we are still behind black and white.. Errrr.... C'mon people, stop the discrimination!!
We, the idiots were brought up in north India.. We know how great is the tradition and people there. There are a hell lot of black people in north and white people in south. Even we are fair!!!! ;-P WHATS IN COLOUR!!!?????
The paani puri vendors and northie dhaabas are profitting in a great amount here in south. So is the southie outlet in northern region!
Nair still remembers her dad's CO(Commanding officer ) requesting all the mallu officers in the regiment to ask their wives to make sadhya for onam..And pls note that CO uncle was a northie too... Nambiar's northie neighbours would die for her mom's sambhar .. and we, the mallu kids, ditched KFC for one small plate of Panipuri.. Well lets not write about palak paneer and rajma chawal.. And our idli dosa... We are already hungry..

Thinking about the cultural differences.. Yes we do follow matriachal systems.. we get our mom's family name.. And well we girls are so much important in the family and we are definitely not considered the ''paraya dhan'' of the family. But yes to get married we have to wear more than 5 kg gold. (which is not coz we are not beautiful .. But because wearing gold is a part of our tradition ). But we dont understand what is wrong with the northie system as long as they are happy with it.. Though they don't wear loads of gold, they do cover up for it wearing their lakhon ka lehenga.

Just think about how much respect even Mr Bachchan gives our mallu actor Mohanlal and well vice versa neednt be written.. Think about the Maharastrian born Tamil actor SUPERSTAR RAJANIKANTH who is loved globally .. Not to mention the northies.. and don't the northies just love Aishwarya Rai , Vidya Balan, Sridevi etc... And dont we southies love seeing north indian actresses like Simran , tamanna and many more on screen...
Guys!!!How much ever we hate each other.. How much we love each other.. We just cant igonre each other .. Long back people used to give examples of UNITY IN DIVERSITY in our country .. And we are ashamed of seeing such north south hungama ...
Always remember before you think of a brawl again UNITED WE STAND
DIVIDED WE FALL
JAI HIND!!!!!!
With love, the patriotic idiots!!

(P.S. Guys learn something from us ;-) we have our university exam in coming days and we didn't start studying at all but we wrote this just because of our dedication to the country. If we ever happen to stand for elections, please do cast your valuable votes for us..keeping in mind this "eye opening letter" ;-P )

ONAM SPECIAL

Dear Readers,
Happy onam to all of you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After the Delhi high court blasts, the earthquake and all the political drama , finally, we ve something to celebrate. Atleast we mallus have something to celebrate.
Onakkodies, beautiful pookalama nd delicious sadhya just made our day.
We idiots had an awesome onam..

We know in the midst of so many heartbreaking incidents happening in Delhi ( blasts..earthquakes..and the heavy rains ) we shouldn’t think of great celebrations. But if great people like SHASHI THAROOR can enjoy their onam sadhyas at kerala house @ DELHI hours after the blast.. then why can’t we??
Speaking of the Delhi blasts.. how can we not comment about RENUKA CHOWDRY who said that the blast happened due to ANNA HAZARE and his team. Bhai, we agree .. if it weren’t for team Anna’s protest and hunger strike the police would have been more alert .All in the intelligence department were intelligently calculating the number of people in the protests and how and whom to arrest, we guess.

Not just that Our sources have confirmed team anna stratergy lead to the blast. What happened actually is quite dramatic. Seeing ANNA HAZARE doing hunger strike so as to make the government agree to their demands.. the small kids of our country stopped having their food so that their parents ll agree to their ‘’demands’’. Frustrated daddies and mommies planted the bomb in HC. so aint Renukaji right???Anna Hazare and his movement is responsible for the blasts. We have doubts if team anna is behind the earthquake and the heavy rains in delhi too...


Hope you all heard abot how RAHUL GANDHI got booed away from the people when he visited the blast victims at RML hospital. Its the people, yes the people who are responsible for every mayhem in our country. Why do they want this and that.. why do they protest for unnecessary things!! Everyone knows Rahul Gandhi knew about the blasts using his SIXTH SENSE much before it happened. He did rush to the site but was 1% late to reach !!! POOR LAD..

RAHUL ‘the boy who prevented 90% terror attacks’ GANDHI (PHEW!!! Big people..even bigger names) is just a baby, an AMUL BABY. Don’t put too much pressure on him.. MAA DA LADLA is too sensitive.


But the news that stands out for us is the MAYAWATI – ASSANGE battle (ehem ehem brawl).

We don’t understand why Assange is behind Mayawati??? Being a lady, its her right to own sandals .. branded ones especially. To bring such expensive and classy stuff you need copters and jets. That is common. What makes us sad is instead of appreciating her love for food and her big heart to employ lots of cooks, we are blaming her of wasting money..?? :) Guys.. Lets appreciate her EMPLOYMENT PROGRAMME. She even thought of giving the jobless Doctors of AGRA mental asylum some work. The people who deserve to be in asylum are ending up in Tihar. She wants Assange to go their so as to give the hospital BRAND EMPOWERMENT. Ab bhai INTERNATIONAL ki baath hi kuch aur hai???

Well people we elect such people even if they make mistakes its not their fault its OUR FAULT
Looks like a JAAGO RE campaign.????? :D
Coming back to ONAM.. Being the state having the highest literacy rates.. our new desire is to learn English. That is why the mallu channels are showing PRITHVIRAJ movies during Onam season.

Oh c’mon he is the only south Indian actor (why just actor?? he is the only south Indian) who speaks English. So hope mallus are busy watching ANWAR and ARJUNAN SAKSHI. An opportunity to learn English free of costs . The richer lot can definitely go to the theatres to watch THEJABHAI AND FAMILY for PhD equivalent courses :) .